


I Trust You

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Reaper76 [35]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-01 02:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16276301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Nightmares are a common occurrence after everything they've been through, and dangerous in a way they wouldn't be for other people.





	I Trust You

   Jack woke slowly, feeling as though he was wading through thick smoke, weariness and a strange all-consuming weakness making it seem like an almost impossible task. It was tempting to just abandon his efforts and fall asleep again, and he could feel himself slipping, the smoke thickening around him. However, before he slipped under completely he became aware of the cool fingers against his face and now that he was focusing he could make out a worried voice murmuring in his ear. It sounded familiar, but his hazy mind was struggling to place it, at least until the speaker began to lapse into Spanish, the soft words tugging at him and drawing him towards the surface. It still took him a few minutes longer to actually coax his eyes open, the world appearing in its usual blur of grey shapes, but he could make out the dark shape leaning over him and he reached out, blindly reaching for it and shivering when all his fingers encountered was mist.

    Silence fell for a moment, but then the fingers against his face disappeared leaving him bereft and adrift in the strange grey world, on edge as he heard movement a moment later. There was the familiar rasp of claws against metal, and then something was settling over his eyes and the world came into red-tinted focus when his visor was slipped into place over his eyes. He blinked, adjusting to the sudden change, frowning when he looked up to find Gabriel crouched over him, staring at him with wide, worried eyes. If his partner’s expression wasn’t enough to tell him that something was very wrong, then the fact that Gabriel was shifting in front of his eyes, mist rising from his skin as though he was threatening to disintegrate at any moment was enough to remove any doubts. He reached out again, glad to be able to see what he was doing this time although it still took him a couple of attempts to find Gabriel’s hand amongst the mist, lacing their fingers together as firmly as he could, startled to realise that he was trembling, that they were both trembling.

“G-Gabe…” He coughed, the word catching in a surprisingly sore throat and he blinked, his free hand rising to massage his neck as he became aware of a dull ache that he hadn’t noticed before. However, he isn’t given chance to dwell on it because Gabriel’s fingers are slipping from his, form falling apart completely until all that was hovering over him was a dark, shapeless cloud. In the past, the sight would have been enough to send him into a blind panic, now instead the sight of Gabriel in that form makes his stomach churn, mind slowly kicking into gear and he lets his hand fall away from his neck as he realises what’s happened.

    Nightmares had always been a part of their lives. There was no way you could go through the Soldier Enhancement Program, enduring the pain and horror of feeling your body changing into something new, suffering through long nights of their bodies rebelling against the injections, of friends disappearing into black bags because they couldn’t hold up under the changes. Or live through the war that had followed, lives of civilians and comrades weighing on their shoulders, the blood on their hands growing with each mission whether it was successful or not, without suffering from nightmares. However, as terrible as those events had been at the time, they rarely featured in their dreams these days because they had both learnt the hard way that there were far worse things to experience. For Jack it was the long hours he had spent buried beneath the remains Zurich, alone and believing that everyone…that Gabe…was dead or waking up days later to find himself trapped in an indistinct grey world, and the guilt that came from being responsible for the fall that would wake him in the night.

   For Gabriel, it was worse, at least that was what Jack believed, something they had debated more than once, because the older man was haunted by the memory of his own death, of waking to find him transformed into something that was no longer human. Then there were the memories, the lives that flashed through his mind whenever he devoured a soul, filling his mind with emotions that weren’t his own, nightmares that belonged to those he had killed, and those he had scavenged. And it was yet another reminder that he was no longer human, that he was no longer the Gabriel Reyes that he had been.

   He doesn’t know what it’s about this time, and right now he doesn’t care, because all that matters is that Gabe is falling apart right in front of him and he pushes himself up on trembling arms as he realises that the shadowy mass is shifting, readying to flee. “Gabe…” It still hurts to speak, but he swallows back a whimper, knowing that the slightest hint of pain will send Gabriel fleeing from the room and he knows from experience that’s not a good thing. “Gabe, it’s okay. I’m okay…” Relatively, he adds privately, swallowing and feeling the ache in his throat intensifying. It’s not the first time either of them has lashed out in their sleep. In fact, he’s lost count of the number of times they’ve had to go down to the infirmary for stitches, because enhanced soldiers lashing out without any control in a confined space is dangerous, even if you’re enhanced yourself. The only problem nowadays is that Gabriel has far more weapons to call on, weapons that he doesn’t always have control of and Jack isn’t quite as hardy as he once was as the effects of age and injury continue to creep up on him.

    Jack can’t quite stop the shiver that goes through him, remembering the feel of Gabriel wrapped around him, mist choking him. That had been before they had reconciled, the crimson eyes flooded with anger and hate, and so much hurt that Jack hadn’t been able to do anything to protect himself against the attack. He had just laid there and taken it, willing to let Gabriel have his revenge if it would give him peace and it had been close, closer than either of them cared to admit even years later. The thought of that happening again, of that mist creeping around him and down his throat whilst he was asleep was terrifying, and he prayed that it didn’t show on his expression, swallowing nervously before stretching a hand out to the misty form which had halted at his words. There’s nothing to show what Gabriel is thinking or feeling, but he gets the impression that he’s at least listening to him for the time being.

“Gabe? Love, please come back to bed…” He’s deliberately pleading, knowing that even now he has the other man wrapped around his little finger, at least some of the time, and sure enough he can see the mist shifting again, drawing closer and he holds his breath.

“I could have killed you…” Gabriel’s voice is soft, barely audible as it seems to come from everywhere at once and Jack sighs, his suspicions about what had happened confirmed. “What if…?” What if I hadn’t stopped?

“But you did,” Jack cuts across him, tone firm despite the pain it causes him, his fear about what had happened and what could have happened fading now. Instead it’s being replaced by an older, but no less terrifying fear as he senses that Gabriel is readying himself to pull away, to retreat in order to protect Jack even though that’s the last thing that Jack wants. It was a fear that had nearly torn them apart in the early days of their reconciliation, making him push, even when he wanted nothing more than to pull Gabriel close once more. He’s not about to make that mistake again, and he leans forward, letting his fingers brush through the mist and trying to imagine that he’s touching Gabe, that he’s holding his face and making sure that he can’t look away. “You always stop.” It was true, he had never once gone as far as he had that day, one or the other of them always waking in time to stop it and more often than not it’s Gabriel who realises what’s happening, who stops himself before it goes too far.

“But…”

“I trust you.”

    It’s only when a stunned silence falls in the wake of his words that Jack realises that he’s never said that before, not since their reconciliation. In the past, back before the promotion and the fall, it had never needed to be said aloud. They’d both known that the other trusted them, that they had each other’s back no matter what the situation was. It wasn’t that simple anymore, and yet just for a moment, saying those words had been the easiest thing in the world and Jack’s expression softened, a small smile on his face as he lifted his head to face the misty form without hesitation. “I trust you, Gabe.”

    The mist is shifting again, clearly uncertain but at least Gabriel is no longer trying to move away from him and so Jack waits, hoping that his words will be enough to bring him back. It’s several minutes later that he feels the lightest brush of chilly skin against his fingers, and he waits, holding his breath as fingers slowly form and entwine with his.

“I don’t deserve you, Mi Luna,” Gabriel whispers, and Jack huffs out a quiet laugh at the words. The same words that he’s said too many times, waking from nightmares about the fall, about their fight, Gabriel’s angry words echoing in his mind and fanning the guilt that’s never quite gone away. He moves to shake his head, mouth falling open, ready to say that it’s the other way around but suddenly the mist is rushing at him, his breath catching at the sight before warm arms wrap around him and Gabriel is there, burying his face against his shoulder. “I don’t…” Jack sighs, but he doesn’t argue, because he knows they could debate that forever and still not reach an agreement and instead he settles for gathering Gabriel closer, fingers wandering up to bury themselves in the soft curls at the nape of Gabriel’s neck.

    They remain like that for a long time, and Jack hates himself for ruining the moment when he has to move, stiff limbs protesting being in the same position for too long and he can’t quite hide a soft groan as they pull apart. At once Gabriel is there, fussing over him, hesitation forgotten as he gently nudges Jack down on the bed, fingers unerringly finding the guilty spots and massaging gently. It doesn’t take long for the ministrations to leave Jack a boneless heap on the bed, savouring the respite from the pain even though he knows from experience that it will be brief, curling his fingers around Gabriel’s arm and tugging until his partner gets the hint and lies down beside him, pressing against his side with a soft hum and carefully pulling Jack closer. “Mi Luna…” Fingers reach up to ghost against his neck, and Jack reluctantly moves, sleep pressing in on him again as he reaches up to catch the probing fingers and squeezes them softly.

“It’s fine,” he mumbles, aware that he doesn’t sound quite as reassuring when he’s teetering on the edge of sleep, but Gabriel doesn’t fight when he pulls his hand down, trapping their linked hands between them to make sure that the other man can’t escape again. “Gabe…” Gentle lips catch his, and he leans into the kiss, not complaining when Gabriel reaches up with his free hand to remove his visor, dropping it on the bedside table with a dull clunk that has him wanting to scold his partner, but the words disappear when Gabriel pulls out of the kiss, caressing his face.

“Go to sleep Jack.” It’s an order, and Jack wants to protest, catching the off note that’s still lingering in Gabriel’s voice and the slight hesitation in the fingers against his skin. However, he can’t fight off the exhaustion as he used to, and Gabe’s massage is still holding the aches at bay and he can feel his eyes drooping against his wishes, and he grumbles even as he relaxes against Gabriel. He feels rather than hears the soft chuckle from Gabriel as he buries his face against him with a yawn, humming softly when he feels lips against his temple, Gabe’s voice soft against his ear. “Thank you for trusting me.” Jack wants to reply, to tell him not to thank him. To say that’s always trusted him, even if he hadn’t always remembered to say it, but the words won’t come as sleep washes over him and all he can do is cling tighter to Gabriel’s hand and hope that he understands.


End file.
